The Freedom of Speech
December 27, 2011 by Admin · Leave a Comment
Christopher Hitchens, the iconoclastic journalist, died of esophageal cancer this December 17. With the death of this man, we have lost a great voice indeed. Here are some words he wrote for us in the June issue of Vanity Fair. Their salience for me will be apparent; I hope they speak to you, too.
In the medical literature, the vocal “cord” is a mere “fold,” a piece of gristle that strives to reach out and touch its twin, thus producing the possibility of sound effects. But I feel that there must be a deep relationship with the word “chord”: the resonant vibration that can stir memory, produce music, evoke love, bring tears, move crowds to pity and mobs to passion.
We may not be, as we used to boast, the only animals capable of speech. But we are the only ones who can deploy vocal communication for sheer pleasure and recreation, combining it with our two other boasts of reason and humor to produce higher syntheses. To lose this ability is to be deprived of an entire range of faculty: it is assuredly to die more than a little.
My chief consolation in this year of living dyingly has been the presence of friends. I can’t eat or drink for pleasure anymore, so when they offer to come it’s only for the blessed chance to talk. Some of these comrades can easily fill a hall with paying customers avid to hear them: they are talkers with whom it’s a privilege just to keep up. Now at least I can do the listening for free.
Can they come and see me? Yes, but only in a way. So now every day I go to a waiting room, and watch the awful news from Japan on cable TV (often closed-captioned, just to torture myself) and wait impatiently for a high dose of protons to be fired into my body at two-thirds the speed of light.
What do I hope for? If not a cure, then a remission. And what do I want back? In the most beautiful apposition of two of the simplest words in our language: the freedom of speech.
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This comes with my wishes for the happiest of New Years. Do talk, and sing, debate and laugh,
and yes, protest. Use your precious voice while you have it.
If you want to learn more about how Dr. Fleming can help you improve your communication skills, please call her at telephone 415.391.9179 or send her an email at query@speechtraining.com
Carol Fleming, Ph.D., is the author of “It’s the Way You Say It”! Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear. A comprehensive guide to vocal development and improvement of communication skills.
The Artists
December 15, 2011 by Admin · Leave a Comment
You’ve all heard of the importance of nonverbal communication. But have you ever wondered if it is all that it’s cracked up to be? Let me give you the evidence shown in the new film, The Artist.
- It is a ‘silent movie’ that allows you to experience how much meaning – both broad and subltle -there is to be had without words.
- Oh sure, from time to time, they throw a pinch of dialogue on the screen, but the meat of the movie is in the expressions, the context, the attitudes and movements that need no language to tell us what is going on.
- The music also moves the agenda in a nonverbal way.
Have you noticed that digital devices are fed streams – gushing rivers – of alphabetized code letters? Have we not come to see this alphabetic tidal wave as the alpha and omega of human communication?
But, have you also noticed that those who gorge themselves at the digital trough are frequently unskilled in the human nonverbal world of animal presence and subtle expression? This nonverbal world is the home of all human relationships worth having. This is the world where you are most fully alive and authentic. This is the world where you can fall in love.
See the picture and see how much of life you can know without a word being spoken.
If you want to learn more about how Dr. Fleming can help you improve your communication skills, please call her at telephone 415.391.9179 or send her an email a tquery@speechtraining.com
Carol Fleming, Ph.D., is the author of “It’s the Way You Say It”! Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear. A comprehensive guide to vocal development and improvement of communication skills.
Steve Jobs also gave a speech
October 20, 2011 by Admin · Leave a Comment
Speaking of Steve Jobs, as we all are, I want to draw your attention away from his colossal achievements in digital communications to his legacy in verbal communication. Rather than tell you about it, I ask you to read or listen to
Steve Jobs’ 2005 Stanford commencement address
Then I suggest you scroll around and read about his impact on the people who have heard this speech.
Ask yourself, what makes this 15 minute speech so very remarkable? How do you answer that question?
For myself, I am struck that a billionaire genius told stories about
1. dropping out of college
2. getting fired from his own company, Apple
3. facing cancer and death
I see a man who took this commencement opportunity to reach deeply into himself and produce the greatest truths of living that he could offer.
- The authenticity is unmistakable.
- The message is bone clear in its simplicity.
- We hear him speak from humility and love.
A student, Kjerstin Erickson, said: “It was about the inevitability and unavoidability of death — and the importance of putting yourself out there, at risk, for humanity,… Because what else, really, is there?”
He was a leader in uniting the world in digital communication and a model of drilling deep into his own personal meaning to share with this world. Genius or no, you can follow the lead of Jobs and search for your own inner truth, find its simple expression, and share with others in an attitude of humble service.
What else, really, is there?
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If you want to learn more about how Dr. Fleming can help you improve your communication skills, please call her at telephone 415.391.9179 or send her an email at query@speechtraining.com
Carol Fleming, Ph.D., is the author of “It’s the Way You Say It”! Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear. A comprehensive guide to vocal development and improvement of communication skills.
Getting to Know the Sound of Your Voice
August 4, 2011 by Admin · Leave a Comment
The Sound of Your Voice
To listen to the blog posting in Audio, please click here —- Getting to Know The Sound of Your Voice
Do you want to know the impression you make by the way you speak?
I can help you do it in a way that won’t cost you a dime.
But, do I believe you will actually do this? No. So prove me wrong!
What to do:
Create a time for you and few (same sex) friends to get together around a good recording device, sit equidistant from the microphone, hit ‘record’….now talk to each other. Let’s say you chat about this or that for 20 minutes. Turn it off, rewind, take a lunch break, then sit down and listen.
What you might listen for:
- Who is doing the most talking?
- Who does the most interrupting?
- Who talks too softly to be heard?
- How low or high is your voice relative to the other people in the group?
- Can you understand yourself as easily as you do others?
- Do you like the sound of your laughter or are you embarrassed to hear that you sound like a Canadian goose?
- Do you hear something in your speech that you don’t like, like ‘like’?
- Does your voice sound flat as a board or should you consider opera?
And so on. Don’t worry; you’ll find much to notice. This may be a painful experience, OR you may well find much that you are pleased with.
I encourage your courage. This exercise allows you to know how you really interact with other people, more than I could possibly predict from a private interview. Consider how valuable this could be for you.
My offer: Do this exercise and write a short report on your communication behavior as you observed it on the recording. Send your report to me. (I can’t wait to read it!) I will write a blog about your findings. You can stay anonymous in the blog posting, should that be your choice. And I will send you a copy of my book, It’s the Way You Say It: Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear. Deal? I look forward to hearing from you.
The Secret of a Good Speech
July 29, 2011 by Admin · Leave a Comment
I received this thank you note from a client:
Dear Carol, Lovely accolades after my speech and I did want to send you a thank you note! To be able to present my thoughts in a way that pleased me was a very happy moment. Not a word was shared about the how and why of it, but you and I know! Sending best thoughts and warmest thanks to you! xxx ————————————
Of course it is always nice to get thank you notes. But did you get the part that my work with her was going to be our little secret? Some clients call me their ‘secret weapon’ and tell me that they don’t want to share how they got so good with others. The business woman in me regrets this lack of acknowledgement and referral, of course. But the therapist side understands their need to own the effective speaking as their own talent and achievement.
Which leads me to ask how many skilled presentations, powerful speeches and touching comments you have heard and just assumed were the result of that speaker’s natural abilities and efforts? Just talented, right? · What if you found out that they floundered and stuttered at the beginning just like you do? That they had been paralyzed with stage fright? ·
What if you knew that many of these great speakers sought professional help, received thoughtful guidance, worked very hard, and rehearsed? You might ask these speakers if they had a ‘secret weapon” in preparing their remarks. Or if they might be able to recommend a speaking coach so you can learn to be as good as they were. Be interesting?
Please don’t let your fear of public speaking stop you. Get help like many others do. Dr. Fleming can be contacted at telephone number 415.391 9179 or query@speechtraining.com
The Speech of Young People
July 6, 2011 by Admin · Leave a Comment
“Kids today! Why can’t they talk proper? Drives me up the wall.!”
Young people entering the business world frequently have speaking styles that are irritating to older folks, to say the least.
- All the “like”s , and ‘ya know”’s, the up-ending sentences, and the vocal dramatizations.
- Did I mention the hyperbole?
- How about the smarty pants attitude?
- And the language!
Yes, your parents would have knocked you across the room if you talked that way. These young people seem to be poorly educated, disrespectful, immature, and just plain wrong .
Consider another viewpoint: This style is part of their group identity, a dialect, even a code. Most people do speak in a slightly different way, depending upon the situation. Do you speak to the judge the same way you speak to the baby? Thought not. You switch codes, even without thinking about it. The older you get, the more you become aware of the need to modify your speaking style to suit the circumstances.
So too, our younger people will assimilate into the larger culture and they also will adopt the vocabulary and stylistics of the adult culture…..just like you did. The mannerism can be efficiently dealt with directly by a speech coach and a new code or style can be modeled for rapid learning.
You help by making the new work place warm and welcoming ,i.e., give them a chance (and try not to let them catch you making fun of them).
If you are one of these young people, and it appears that the way you talk irritates your new colleagues, please understand that you are using a dialect that they find offensive. To learn more about mannerisms and guidance how to address your speaking concerns, please contact Dr. Carol Fleming at (415).391.9179 or query@speechtraining.com
Do You Have a Welcoming Voice?
June 8, 2011 by Admin · Leave a Comment
Let’s imagine you are giving a party and want to make a welcoming speech to your guests. What would you do? Probably all of the following:
- Stand where you are most visible to the people
- Project your voice out to the whole group so you are easily heard
- Try to make eye-contact with many of the guests
- Have a pleasant expression on your face and a melody in your voice
- Make them feel comfortable and welcome.
Would that be so hard? I don’t think so.
I would like to see more people take that positive presence out in public when they introduce themselves at a meeting. The tendency of most folks is to be grim and deadly serious. They put a big fat NOT in front of the five suggestions above.
Allbusiness.com, the most widely used website for small business help, asked me to work with three small business owners to improve their ‘elevator speech’ on video and now the results are online for all to see. Please go to Allbusiness.com and take a look at How to Present Your Small Business.
It is so easy to see how much improved these speakers are when they show their warmth and reach out to an audience. The next time you have an opportunity to introduce yourself, stand up, look around the group and think, “Thank you so much for coming tonight. I’m so glad to see you all!” Just think it and let your face how your warmth. People will hear you so much better.
To learn how Dr. Fleming can help you “Make a Memorable Self-introduction” please call her at 415.391-9179
Quick tips for sounding Intelligent, Powerful, Polished, Articulate and Confident
January 12, 2011 by Admin · Leave a Comment
I know what you want. You want some quick tips to success. In these days of time pressure and job insecurity, who could blame you? So I will give you the ‘tips’ most frequently sought. At the same time, I will remind you that it takes more than a ‘tip’ to change your behavior. You might review what you already know about the word “practice” to use the following tips.
To Sound More Intelligent:
Speak just a bit slower than you normally do to give yourself time to select your most appropriate vocabulary and to give the impression of thoughtfulness.
To Sound More Powerful:
Use short, simple declarative sentences. You say what you mean and you mean what you say. Cut out any useless connectors, adjectives and adverbs, especially superlatives (Fantastic! Outstanding!, etc.).
To Sound More Polished:
Avoid answering a question with a blunt “yes” or “no”. Append a short phrase of clarification. For example, “No, I did not see it.” “Yes, I know Mary.” Doesn’t that sound more courteous?
To Sound More Articulate:
Make a special effort to pronounce the final sound in a word and use its energy to carry over to the following word. Readers of my book will recognize the principal of ‘linking’. Pay special attention to final “t”. (I can’t_ever count_on him.)
To Sound More Confident:
Carry your body in an upright posture. Hold your head as if you had a crown on it. Don’t let your arms and legs have side to side motion when you move. Keep your elbows and knees close to the midline of your body. Think “CEO” or “King” and you’ll probably get it right.
Pick just one of these tips to work on each day (or you’ll feel like the famous centipede who became paralyzed with too much thought). If you need more support or information in using these tips, you’ll find the information in my book, It’s the Way You Say It.
If you want to learn more about how Dr. Fleming can help you improve your communication skills, please call her at telephone 415.391.9179 or send her an email at query@speechtraining.com
Carol Fleming, Ph.D., is the author of “It’s the Way You Say It”! Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear. A comprehensive guide to vocal development and improvement of communication skills. For people who want to make their speaking more impressive.
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The King’s Speech….and yours
January 3, 2011 by Admin · Leave a Comment
See that fine fellow above? Notice the epaulettes, the stripes and braid, the sword and medals. The dignity and confidence. Clearly, he is on top of his game. What could possibly ruffle him? I’ll tell you; speaking in public. King George VI was a stutterer. His concern about the stutter was debilitating and humiliating.
These are the two problems one has to deal with in any speech disorder. There is the actual speech problem itself, and then there is the array of feelings (misgivings, embarrassment, shame) that accompany it. Together, these two components can prevent many a person from
- adding their voice to the debate
- expressing their opinion
- seeking professional advancement
- speaking up for their rights
- singing in the great choir of life
Many, many people have concerns about the way they speak. People you know, like your buddy, your boss or the guy that fixes your appliances. If you hear something that draws attention to the way they talk you can be pretty sure that they will probably have some sensitive feelings about it. We want people to respond to what we say, not get distracted by how we say it.
There are trained professionals to help people in this situation – speech pathologists – who are in the best position to offer the best remedies available and that recognize and respect the feelings behind the speech.
There are people who believe that they are ‘stuck’ with their speech problem and don’t know that genuine help is available. Perhaps you are one such person. What a good New Year’s Resolution it would be to find yourself a speech pathologist and start working toward better speech.
The King did and so can you.
Preparing for Your Presentation
November 1, 2010 by Admin · Leave a Comment
Have you heard the rumor that thorough preparation is the most effective thing you can do to avoid stage fright? It’s true. And I want to talk about one little bitty part of the preparation process, the out loud rehearsal of your material before your delivery.
No, not silent reading to yourself, I want you to wrap your tongue around your words so they fit comfortably in your mouth. If there are some tricky phrases or difficult words, isn’t it better to find this out BEFORE you are in front of your audience? And, once discovered, you can fix them, can’t you? Of course you can.
Now you are ready to put some large photos of people on the other side of the room, and say your speech out loud to the pictures, moving your eyes from one face to another as you present a thought or a phrase. Let yourself get used to making eye contact AND talking at the same time. You probably do this quite naturally when you are not giving a speech – we’re just bringing unconscious communication behavior up to the conscious level so you won’t forget to do it.
People earnestly ask me if they shouldn’t talk to themselves in front of a mirror. And I say, no they shouldn’t. Such a silly idea. I won’t even go into all the reasons that the idea has me shaking my head….sadly. But I do have a better idea. Add a real human being in the room with your pictures, one who will make you feel just a bit of self-consciousness.
Why? Because you want to get used to performing in the same state of excitation as will happen when you actually talk. You are going to toughen up with a little dose of the nerves so it doesn’t get you by surprise when you really speak.
Use the mirror to straighten your tie or check your lipstick. Use your neighbor to practice your speech.
If you want to learn more about how Dr. Fleming can help you improve your communication skills, please call her at telephone 415.391.9179 or send her an email at query@speechtraining.com
Carol Fleming, Ph.D., is the author of “It’s the Way You Say It”! Becoming Articulate, Well-spoken and Clear. A comprehensive guide to vocal development and improvement of communication skills. . To get your own copy, go to http://amzn.to/ItsTheWayYouSayIt
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